A Brave Post.

I have been the girl with a heart after tradition.

There is safety and comfort in the consistency of tradition.

Tradition says: This is the way it has been. And in the way it has been, I know how to respond and react.

Even if the way it has been is unhealthy or mediocre.

Learning to accept change can be hard and it can be awkward.

Like drinking coffee out of new mugs at your favorite go-to-diner.

The coffee is still the same, but there is something a little off about the surrounding circumstances.

It doesn’t feel quite the same and it is not what you expected.

So has been this season: full of change.

Choosing to bravely, and sometimes tearfully, embrace the change has allowed room for growth. Growth I originally did not go looking for.

It has taken me 365 days to read through a 100 day devotional.

100 Days to Brave by Annie F. Downs

(Go. Buy it. Read it. Follow her on all the things.)

Why did it take so long?

Some days the book sat on the shelf because of this fear of change and this clinging to traditional ways. Some days being brave felt exhausting and like too much work. It is hard to do brave things when you do not feel the brave feels—but that’s what courage is. It’s doing the next brave thing, regardless of what you feel.

In these 365 days, in this charge to live brave, even in the lack of "feeling" brave-- I have lived and learned.

I learned to give myself grace. Grace for the brave journey. Grace through the changes. Grace for the failures or the small steps forward. Allowed myself to breathe in the graceful truth that no matter what today or tomorrow holds, it will be okay.

I lived through leaps of risk.

I met new people and went places alone. Big deal? For an introverted homebody—it is. I did it. And I pumped my own gas along the way. A victory for Jersey girls everywhere.

I bought a car. I finally gave up old Mr. Blue with his broken pieces—saying goodbye to something old, to make way for something new.

I quit a full time-well providing-position to serve in full time ministry, pursuing and wrestling through this idea of calling.

I said yes to a cup of coffee—a chai tea latte to be exact—from a man who showed up when my heart was just about to close to the idea of relationship. He patiently pursued my heart with life-giving words which has led to a love deeper than I imagined.

I lived dreams. Mourning the ones that have died, but remaining hopeful for the ones that are alive.

In the moments when I wanted to stop, when I wanted to give up and quit running in this brave race Every time I went to turn back to old ways—I found another piece of the Lord's faithfulness.

So I kept pushing forward. Pressing on. When I want to go back, to return to my false idea of safety, I feel Him calling me forward one step at a time.

And I don't want to miss what might be around the next corner.

I am still guilty of choosing to miss out on life around me because of my selfishness, because of anxious thoughts. Because of too much pressure I put on myself. But soul deep security and believing and loving who God has called you to be--it's possible. I know it is because I am living proof.

The brave stuff doesn't end because a devotional ends.

Being brave is following Jesus. In the small decisions and in the big adventures.

God is doing a mighty work.

I don't want to miss it because I am so focused on the traditions of the past or the discomfort of change and the unfamiliarity of what might be next. With God, whatever will come and whatever will be--it will be good.